April Fools
by Tarlia
Summary: It's my only humor fanfiction as of yet. I don't guarantee you'll find it funny. All flames will be laughed at. This fanfic is in no way meant to offend anyone or any type of fanfiction. Yadda.


April Fools  
  
- By Tarlia -  
  
It was yet another, beautiful morning in Balamb Garden. Squall walked down the hall from the dormitory on his way to the training center, passing by several students as he did so. They all nodded respectfully at him in greeting. Nothing special about that. It was going to be yet another, perfectly ordinary day...  
  
When he reached to doors to the training center, he found Seifer standing there, leaning against the wall with an usual sly expression on his face. Squall frowned.  
  
"Seifer, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, just waiting for you, Squally-boy. I wondered if you wanted to take a round in the training center," Seifer replied.  
  
"Sure," said Squall, shrugging, then pulled out his Lion Heart gunblade, "I could use some practice."  
  
Seifer just grinned, his eyes trailing down Squall's body, "That scar does look good on you, you know..."  
  
Squall blinked, "Um... Seifer... where's your gunblade?"  
  
"Oh, I won't need a gunblade for the kind of fighting /I/ was thinking of... By the way, I love your new weapon. You know what they say about guys with big gunblades...?" Seifer winked at him.  
  
Squall's eyes widened, "... On second thought, I think I have something else I need to do. Bye!" he ran off.  
  
"Wait!" Seifer called after him, "I'll make it enjoyable!! I PROMISE!!"  
  
Squall ran as fast as he could until he was all the way on the other side of the Garden. He breathed a sigh of relief, mumbling to himself, "Seifer has finally gone completely crazy..."  
  
Just then, Zell came rushing towards the cafeteria, "Oh man, oh man, I'm gonna be late for the hot dogs again!!!"  
  
But when he saw Squall, he stopped in his tracks and looked at him, "Oh, hey, Squall! Wanna have breakfast with me?"  
  
"No thanks, Zell..." Squall replied, "I don't really like the idea of hot dogs as breakfast."  
  
"Oh, come on!" Zell complained, walking up to him and punching him on the shoulder, "It'll be fun!"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Zell paused, thought for a minute, then grinned widely, "You know... if there's no hot dogs left in the cafeteria... We could go to my room. I have at least ONE hot dog in store for you there."  
  
Squall blinked again and discreetly started to back away, "Uh, Zell... You know, there's plenty of pretty girls out there..."  
  
Zell proceeded to throw himself at Squall and hug his waist, "But it's you I want!! Save me, Squall! Save me from this lonely void I'm lost in!!!"  
  
"Ack! Get off me!!" Squall forcefully pushed Zell away and then whirled around and ran down the hall. This HAD to be a nightmare, right...?  
  
Not seeing where he was going, though, Squall bumped right into Irvine - The 'ladies' man' of Balamb Garden. Both of them fell to the floor from the impact. Squall quickly got up and brushed off himself, "Irvine! I'm sure glad to see you - both Zell and Seifer have gone insane!"  
  
Irvine got to his feet as well and straightened his hat, "Really?"  
  
Squall was about to explain, but then noticed Irvine was all scratched up, "What happened to you?"  
  
"...Oh, that. Selphie did it," Irvine winced.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I broke up with her... I'm in love with someone else."  
  
Squall didn't like the sound of that. Suddenly, Irvine gave one of his most seductive smiles and inched closer to Squall.  
  
"So, like... Squall... I got myself a new shotgun. Wanna come with me and... check the range of it?"  
  
Swallowing, Squall shook his head and began to move away, nervously, "N-no..."  
  
"Please?" Irvine said, "I've got all sorts of naughty magazines, if you need them!"  
  
"AAAAAAHHHH!!!" Squall screamed and ran away.  
  
"Squall! It's always been you! All those other guy-- I mean, girls meant nothing to me!!! Wait!!!"  
  
Squall took the elevator to the second floor to escape the insanity. But just as the elevator doors opened, he was met by all the male Trepies.  
  
"We've changed our mind and formed a new fan club!" They cheered, "From now on, we shall be known as the Leonharties!"  
  
"NOOO! Leave me alone!!!" Squall punched a few buttons quickly, and the doors closed just as the former Trepies were about to invade the elevator. Squall let out a shuddering breath, wide-eyed and frightened as he let himself be taken to the third floor...  
  
Cid Kramer was sitting in his office and going through some reports when Squall came in, a wild, scared expression on his face, "What's wrong, boy? Has Ultimecia been revived?"  
  
"Sir," Squall ran over to his desk, "Sir, I'd like to report on... some incidents that...," he trailed off, shaking violently and looking as if he was about to break down sobbing.  
  
"Aww...," Cid said and turned in his chair, patting his knees, "There, there. Come here and sit in uncle Cid's lap, and tell me all about it." He grinned.  
  
"Not YOU too!" Squall cried and ran out again.  
  
"But Squall! I've always loved younger men! Please, I'll even raise your pay!"  
  
As he ran down the stairs from the elevator in the first story, Squall saw Raijin and Chocoboy stand by the stairs' base.   
  
"Squall, we love ya, ya know! Leather pants look so good on ya, ya know!"  
  
"If you come with me to the forest, I'll blow the whistle!" said Chocoboy.  
  
Squall held his hands over his ears and continued to run.  
  
Outside the Quad, Laguna, Ward and Kiros stood. Laguna waved a hand as Squall came dashing by.  
  
"Squall! I want you to see my new sexy glasses! Wait up! Tell me I don't look old!"  
  
"......" said Ward.  
  
"Ward says: You're sexy," said Kiros, "And you know, I have to agree..."  
  
Squall just ran straight past them.  
  
Squall eventually made his way to the Quad's balcony, where Rinoa was standing, looking out at the horizon.  
  
"Rinoa! Thank God I found you!" Squall said, wrapping his arms around her, "Everyone in Garden has gone crazy! I'm so glad to see you! Let's run away together!"  
  
Rinoa studied her boyfriend for a minute, then she smiled widely and replied, in a strangely musculine voice, "I'd love to run away with you, big boy."  
  
He pulled away from her, blinking, "Y-you're not Rinoa!"  
  
Rinoa grinned for another second, then pulled off her mask to reveal...  
  
"Nida!" Squall gasped.  
  
"You've always been the only one for me, Squall!" Nida said, "That day you pretended not to recognize me... Oh, that turned me on! Like our love is something secret and special!"  
  
"AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Squall yelled. He looked around frantically, then abruptly ran to the balcony's edge and jumped off.  
  
"WAIT!" Nida dashed over to the balcony's edge and looked after Squall, "Oops..." He turned to see Seifer, Zell, Irvine, Cid, Raijin, Chocoboy, Laguna, Ward and Kiros approach, then grinned sheepishly.  
  
"Oh, man..." said Zell.  
  
"So...," said Seifer, "Do you guys think it's a bit too late to say 'April Fools'?"  
  



End file.
